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Aesthetic Realism
Seminar of September 1, 2005
Part 6, Conclusion: Criticism
with
Good Will is the Greatest Being For
Linda Wells, a science professor
from Minnesota who had
been married and divorced, and traveled many places in the world, told
us in
her first consultation she moved to New York hoping to start a new life. She later wrote:
When I arrived here I
was a bitter and disappointed
woman, thinking I would stay ‘independent’ for the rest of my life and
not care
for anything or anybody too deeply.
Now she had begun seeing Peter
Flanagan, an artist, but
she was ill-at-ease. For and against in
her were intense: an anger with her father, her ex-husband, and men as
such,
yet she wanted to love someone. We knew
she needed to look at mistakes of the past, and we asked: “What was
your
husband’s biggest criticism of you?
Linda Wells: He
said I wasn't honest. I wanted my own way, and didn't want to see what
he felt.
Consultants: What
do you
think you were most dishonest about?
LW:
Showing my feelings. Why
have I
wanted so much to arrange my response to things?
Consultants: Because you
haven't trusted reality too much. Are
people good enough to show your feelings to?
LW: I
haven't trusted people.
Meanwhile, as she spoke
about Peter Flanagan,
she presented herself as utterly for him. Hints
came through—little smiles at how he was
awkward, and things he
didn’t know—that she felt she was intellectually superior, and didn't
value his
care for art. We asked: Do you want him
to be intimidated by your keen mind?
Linda
Wells: Maybe
I do.
Consultants: Have
you
liked to punish men?
Linda Wells:
I
think I have.
Cons:
Do you still
have cynicism about reality itself? Because cynics don’t fare too well
in
love—if the world isn’t seen as worth liking, you’re not going to want
to like
it through a man, you’re going to want to punish it.
And we asked: “Do you think that
men have criticism of
themselves? Is this real to you?”
Linda
Wells: It
could be more real.
Cons: How
are your
thoughts about your former husband?
LW: My
thoughts are better. I don’t feel they are just wanting to get revenge
on
him—but I don’t feel I’m kind in my thought about him.
Cons:
Do you
feel a man deserves to suffer? That he
doesn’t deserve good to come to him?
That’s a terrible thing to play around with—it’s what makes bombs fall.
The matter of good will Mr. Siegel saw as the biggest emergency in the
world.
We told her that she should try to
see the inner life of
men; one book we suggested she read was Tom Jones by Henry Fielding. There
was
an important change in her when she wrote "What good would it do me to
really have good will for Peter Flanagan?"
I
end with
sentences Linda Wells wrote to us:
You
have encouraged me to be fair to my former husband,
and to look honestly at my regrets….I feel my life is more hopeful….I
see
people more deeply, [and] I don’t feel alone anymore—this is VERY LARGE.
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